Change is hard...

Life has hit an all time low... Have you ever had that feeling of something missing? You try so hard to fill the void but no matter what you try it is still there...

I have never felt this before until now. I always wish that I was a different person and that I was a better person. No matter what I do I seem to fuck up...

There aren't a lot of people I love and care for, each time that I find myself loving I push them straight in the other direction and this time I have tried so damn hard to keep it there but I have done it yet again, how are you supposed to change and become a better person when everything and everyone that you love leaves you behind.

Change was a big part of this year, I am trying so so hard. I don't feel any further forward though.

Wish it could be so simple to just get up and disappear but, unfortunately, it isn't.

Stuck in this hell until the very end, I used to believe in God and that everyone had a purpose but lately its hard to believe when from the very beginning of life I have been screwed over.

Giving up is a better motto. Become the person I fear of being, might as well...